• Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    4·
    3 hours ago

    I graduated high school in 2005, one out of some 300 of my graduating class. Had plenty of friends. Went to community college, several folks I knew from school went to the same community college, met plenty of new folks. Had plenty of friends. Transferred to university, had plenty of friends, got to know my roommates pretty close, that kind of thing.

    Out of college, I disappeared into what I thought was going to be my career for a few years. When I came back up and looked around, I found myself in a different world with people that aren’t people anymore, there are walking talking eating shitting cell phone stands.

    I don’t try to socialize for the same reason I don’t go hunting for Carolina parakeets: Interpersonal relationships aren’t a thing that exists in the world anymore. We killed them all and the corpse of the last one is on display behind glass at the Raleigh museum of Natural Sciences.

  • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    8 hours ago

    I wonder if “human BS” is just the frustration that real human communication is less convenient and demands more attention than the other forms of communication we’ve gotten used to.

    • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
      1·
      6 hours ago

      Email also requires a lot of “human BS” to avoid conveying an unintended tone without being able to directly address it.

    • TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.worldOP
      1·
      7 hours ago

      I think that applies prior to texting, social media, video calls too though. Except back then, I could avoid people by either not giving them my number or saying I wasn’t home when they called.

      Now you’re expected to have your phone on you at all times, then little Jimmy from elementary school finds you on social media and wants to know if you’re interested in essential oils.

  • Sentient Loom@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    12·
    10 hours ago

    I’m wired wrong for most social interactions. It’s a serious problem, and my attempts to overcome it generally make it much worse. But “accepting myself” means accepting unemployment, and then how can I pay rent? (Currently unemployed and living with family).

    However, I don’t think people’s social behavior is all BS. I try not to be resentful. I know there’s lots of BS, but I also know that’s what becomes most obvious to me, so it’s partly a matter of perception.

    • hogmomma@lemmy.world
      3·
      7 hours ago

      Mind elaborating on how you’re wired wrong? Genuinely curious to see which, if any, traits we share.

      • Sentient Loom@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        1·
        1 hour ago

        Sure. There are layers to it. If I socially interact for a few hours then I’ll become exhausted, probably cranky. A psychiatrist said I have ADHD, and the sensory input of multiple persons being around is too much. Social environments tend to be overwhelming.

        I also have a social phobia. I don’t think it’s genetic, since I didn’t have it as a kid. But my teenage years (11-18) were severely isolated, and full of humiliation and severe loneliness. I just never recovered from that. I spent my 20s trying to learn, forcing myself into all these social environments, but it was mostly just a torturous cycle of collapse.

        I over-rely on my sense of humor, and this often causes problems. Most of the time it works really well (people like to laugh, and they appreciate a good joke), so I can make a very good first impression. But when it comes to “actual” social interaction, I simply have no idea what to say, like ever. I can negotiate well on other people’s behalf, and I’m good at explaining things, but in open-ended social situations I tend to be weirdly quiet or else I say horribly wrong things without realizing it. I’ve experienced multiple instances of people doing prolonged campaigns of social warfare against me because I accidentally insulted them, and they recognize my vulnerabilities. I’m terrible at reading non-verbal communication (this isn’t just a product of social anxiety or phobia… my brain just doesn’t pick up on these things, doesn’t know what to do with them). So basically I’m not a social creature. Some people actually have thought that I was mentally handicapped (or experiencing cognitive decline, or that I’m “on drugs”) because I just don’t respond like an intelligent person. But then I’ll go to “therapy” (what a disgusting joke) and they’ll see how well I can explain myself, and they’ll declare me to be fine. Clearly no problems with “communication” (but socializing isn’t just explaining things to a person).

        I could go on and on, but that paints a picture.

  • dogerwaul@pawb.social
    8·
    10 hours ago

    yes, but i am also becoming more tolerant of personal quirks as i’ve learned of my autism and how it impacts my socializing. i worry nobody likes me and tend to avoid conversation. i want friends. i have some, but more would be nice. something genuine and deep but equally as stupid and silly and shallow.

  • FRYD@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    4·
    9 hours ago

    I have something like your problem. I try to be really patient and caring, but it’s gotten to the point where I have a reputation among my friends and family for it. Now I have more people to support than I can handle emotionally. My battery isn’t dead, but now it’s like blowing a breaker if the draw on any given day is too much.

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
    3·
    8 hours ago

    To be fair many people out there are just becoming more horrible and its not worth your effort ;)

  • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
    3·
    9 hours ago

    It’s impossible for me. I always turn into the personal therapist. I see too much. And I can’t help it. Just ended a friendship over this because it was exhausting to maintain.